Pet Peeves. You know what I am talking about, those tiny little things that make you want to cringe. EVERY time. They ALMOST go unnoticed, but they don’t. We all know what ours are and maybe even have somewhat of a clue what our partner would say theirs are in return. The question is – What do you and I do about them? Do you know, and I mean, REALLY know, why they actually bother the heck out of you?
A therapist colleague of mine came up with a meticulous list that he collected over three weeks from clients’ complaints. He even went so far as to specify how each qualified for the extra-annoying category. Clever, what can I say.
Here is a dozen. I had to share. Take a look at some of my favorites. Some, I hope, may even be reason for a chuckle.
Extra annoying—being so absorbed as to not answer when spoken to.
Extra annoying—you had asked them to get some and they forgot.
Extra annoying—you’re already late or lost.
Extra annoying—they hate being woken up themselves.
Extra annoying—getting mad at you for inquiring or reminding them.
Extra annoying—they’re champions at Tetris.
Extra annoying—getting annoyed at you for waking them up to complain.
Extra annoying—accusing you of not caring when you’ve already missed the train.
Extra annoying—you’re already asleep.
Extra annoying—claiming they still plan to read an article from the nineties.
Extra annoying—you didn’t realize they were still wet.
Extra annoying—getting annoyed at you when they can’t find a clean glass.
We all have a list. You and me both. Now, that’s no surprise. Whether it’s fifty shades of them or seventy five. The real question here is – what do you do about it? Have you found a system that works? How do you find a system? Do you talk to your best friend or do you present them to the offender with the goal & hope that he/she might single- handedly try to minimize the side effects or bring the extra annoying ones down a level to just regular annoying?
Have you ever thought about what it is about any one of these pet peeves that drives you so crazy? And if you have, indeed, thought about it, have you kept your conclusions to yourself or have you brought them up for discussion?
Couples generally don’t get divorced over huge issues or disagreements. It is the little things. It’s what’s underneath the surface that matters most. And that – you and your partner – may have to just good old-fashioned talk about.
For entire list/ article, click here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201302/how-survive-50-common-marital-pet-peeves