When looking to work with me – given that I specialize in marriage therapy, there are two things I want all my clients to know about couples counseling.
As clients walk in and out of my office, I have heard concerns around a couple of things that keep coming up. Over and over again. And I can’t help but want to prevent it from happening. Here is why. Both of these (and there may be more coming in a later edition) seem like no-brainers to me.
Yet, I hear them time and time again. And the worst thing is this: The tone of your voice tells me you mean every single word of it.
So, here you go. You’ve got to hear this from me. And, you’ve got to hear it now.
Really. I don’t. And I am not just saying that. If I thought you were crazy, I’d have you admitted to a psychiatric facility. Or I would refer you to a different kind of professional. None of my clients have ever ended up there.
If caring about your relationship makes you crazy, then I will take all the crazy there is. If being attentive to your spouse and marriage makes you crazy, I hope the line will never stop. I want my practice to be full of your kind. In fact, if that’s the kind of crazy you are, I guess I want you to be crazy. In fact, I am sure of it.
If being crazy about your relationship is the prerequisite, then I am joining your ranks right now. There you have it.
Really and truly, judging you is just plain not part of my job description. It never has been. What would give me the right to judge? Nowhere in the list of my responsibilities did it include the ability or necessity to judge. Nowhere. Are you hearing me when I say that? [Please don’t make me say it again. :)]
All I am judging and seeing is the level of your commitment and the strength that it takes to realize and admit that you were wrong. From where I am standing, what I see is your ability to put your own ego aside in the interest of your relationship. Not caring so much about being right so that you can stay married instead.
In order to be successful in our work together in couples counseling, you need to believe these two things. This is your “Need to Know” when you call or email. I want you to really know both of these to be true. Once you do, we can start making headway. Because that means you know where I stand. And you know you are ready.
And, when you are ready, then you can say with me: Couples counseling, here we come!