I was on the phone with my mom. She had just casually asked me how work was going, only to offer:
“It must be really rewarding to know that because a couple came to see you, they are not going to get a divorce.”
Yes. Yes, it is.
I’m not gonna lie.
In fact, I am not even sure that the word rewarding does it justice.
And yes, the couples who come into my office and end up not divorcing as a result of our working together bring me enormous joy.
Sometimes they walk in and they admit that this is their last resort. Things have been so bad for so long, they’ve lost sight of what it could even look like. They don’t even remember how at one point in time, the two of them enjoyed spending time together. Or liked venturing out into public, side by side.
So, yes, that is definitely one portion of the clients I end up seeing. And I love being the bearer of good news for them.
Sometimes, all they need to hear is that this – their situation – is salvageable, that I have done this with other couples before them, and that that it’s totally doable.
But – it’s not just the couples who, as a result of working with me, end up NOT being a part of the divorce statistic.
There are a lot of other couples who come in, knowing that they are not looking to divorce as an option.
The ones who come in because they don’t want to be miserable for the rest of their married lives. Those who come in, knowing that if nothing changes, things will just get worse over time. When it’s already been bad for a while.
And they fear that if nothing changes they will just dislike their spouse more and more each day.
The couples who know that their misery is rubbing off on their kids even if they never fight in front of them. Or they never fight at all – but there is a father elephant, mother elephant and three baby elephants all spread out unashamedly on their living room floor.
That’s the two.
No matter which one walks in, I’m honored to be in on the ride.
I can’t say that I have favorites. What I can say – Seeing the turnaround and watching husbands and wives work towards and become the couple they can be, their marriage transformed in the process, is unreal.