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What To Do With a Request (& The Fear that Follows)

    Even when, or ESPECIALLY when… Your husband, your wife approaches you with a request, you have GOT to remember this one thing. That’s ALL that it is. A request. YOU (and I) get to decide what to do with it. And this isn’t me saying – don’t listen to your spouse. Don’t take […]

How to Recover in Your Marriage at Rapid Speed

    How to RECOVER in your marriage from a relational micro-mishap at RAPID SPEED Some of you call them hiccups. Yes, those. Say these words out loud: “Hey, I don’t want to hold this over my head (or yours) all day long, can I just run it by you real quick? Assuming that your […]

You Don’t NEED to Hire Me

    You don’t NEED to hire me. Here’s why you might WANT to. Mary sent me this months after we’ve initially spoken on the phone. (And Mary isn’t the only one who’s sent such an email.) “We didn’t prioritize this. However, the question you asked me when we first spoke continues to stick out […]

There IS a DIFFERENCE

    There is a difference between fighting to surrender, and fighting to win. Reality Check — Not all of my couples make it. Sometimes they come, when they should have come months or years ago. Other times, they come because they want to be able to say – “We have done it ALL. There […]

On Vulnerability in Marriage

    On Vulnerability in Marriage – that’s what we are talking about today. I don’t know who needs to hear this but I JUST reminded a couple of this truth this morning. There’s a lot of talk about vulnerability. And intimacy. And how we all – supposedly – want that in our relationships. Including […]

This Will Happen in Your Marriage As It Relates to Money

    This will happen in your marriage when you work with me. You will be able to talk about money & sex in a way you never knew before. Being open about where you are now. Being honest and open about where you have been (sometimes it is useful to look at what us […]

A letter from ME to YOU, With LOVE

    This is a letter from me to you, with love. There’s no denying it. The numbers don’t lie. Picture this: It’s Friday night & you are at a dinner party. Six couples total present. Hear this. Every other couple in the room will end up in divorce. Every other couple around the table […]

Breaking My Own Rules in Public

    I’m not gonna lie. I was kind of horrified. You know how sometimes you realize you’re doing something that you didn’t even realize you were doing? Well that’s exactly what happened to me. This was definitely one of those times. I wasn’t smiling then.   What You Have to Know – First Thing’s […]

The Before & After of My Clients – Here’s What Happens Here

    I’m calling this the ‘Here’s What Happens Here’ Edition   THE BEFORE & AFTER of my Clients – The BEFORE PART   This couple, somewhere in their fifties, married twenty plus years. Walked in, both of them saying they weren’t particularly fulfilled in their marriage. “We really just would like to be able […]

Crying over Spilled Tea

    Sometimes, it’s hard to believe this stuff happens. I was doing the thing I always do – Drinking tea. Simple enough, right? As I’m about to put a fresh tea bag in, I realize I am not quite done so I lift the mug up to my face, and spill a bunch on […]

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