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Uh-oh! Is there a hidden camera in my therapy office?

Hidden Camera Blog Post

I don’t know what to make of this – It’s like my clients are talking amongst themselves.

Is there a memo going around that I never got my hands on?

Or worse yet, did someone have a hidden camera installed in my office that I am not aware of?

How is this happening?

It was one those weeks just a few weeks back. I don’t have to wreck my brain to remember that it was at least three different couples who walked in with THE exact same issue that week.

What was it, you ask?


What? Driving?

Yep, that’s right – Transporting themselves (and/or other family members) from location A to location B. And how that caused problems.

For some of them it’s been happening for decades. For some, the annoyance was brand new.

And I am not talking about the ‘My wife drives me nuts’ kind of driving.

Just to be clear.

Nope – two wheels in the front, two wheels in the back (let’s not get too technical about it).

How driving comes up in therapy sessions

Question Driving


See for yourselves.


Exhibit A:

“He drives too fast, I am not comfortable with it. And it’s because we leave late everywhere go. Heaven forbid we would ONCE make it on time. And not have to go 20 miles over the speed limit. It’s out KIDS in the back seat, for crying out loud! Don’t you get that? And don’t even get me started on all the speeding tickets you got just in the last couple of years. It’s like the older you get, the more risky and stupid you behave.”


Exhibit B:

“Going from one common location to another, I told her when we would get there. She was on board with it. All is well. We had plenty of time. I know how to get there. And yet, the whole way down, she keeps pointing this way and that, telling me what to do: move into this lane. We’ll get there faster if you take this exit. At this time of day, lane X is unpredictable – we should have avoided this whole road to begin with. You never drive this during traffic, how would you know?”


Exhibit C:

“This is sort of an emergency, you would agree, right? We are driving the mother-in-law to the ER, she is  not feeling well, she can barely breathe – Mind you, we don’t know what’s wrong. She is sitting in the back seat, literally semi-unconscious. And she (read wife) insists on driving. I am telling her, she is in the right frame of mind to drive. It’s like driving herSELF to the ER. But she doesn’t listen. Then, we take a red turn where there is a NO TURN ON RED sign. I ignore it. I know she is stressed out. I don’t say anything as she is speeding off at 75 mph on a 55 road. But then, what broke the camel’s back – She takes a left turn on a red light through two lanes of traffic. And I lose it. I offered to drive. I offered to call an ambulance. I even said we could just get a cab – but then we don’t have a way to drive back home. And then, instead of being supportive, calm and collected, I am freaking out and yelling at my wife until she drives herself and her mom to the ER, and I drive the car into the parking garage.”

With the last occurrence, before they are even done telling me what happened, I literally laugh out loud. (And of course, I let them finish.)

And, so as not to make things awkward, I tell them why.

They laugh with me.

There must have been something in the water.

What are the chances? Right???

Hidden Camera – YES or NO?


So, we talked through it.

We looked at what was driving them 🙂 into this. And, we did a feedback wheel, like I always do in a situation like this, remembering to focus in on two things:

  1. Why is this bothering you?
    2. What would you like to ask your spouse instead?


They did well.

There is always a solution.

You just have to be open to it and listen. And start the process by speaking up.


So for the record: NO, there is no hidden camera in my office.

It’s just life’s way of being funny sometimes.