We all have expectations.
We’d lie if we said we didn’t.
Whether at work, at home, in your personal life and development – if you are alive, you have expectations – of people, of things, of how life’s gonna turn out.
Now, there is nothing wrong with having expectations.
Unless, of course – it gets in the way.
How does it get in the way?
You and I have expectations.
We set the bar high.
We tend to be perfectionists.
It’s gotta be juuuust right.
If that’s the level of life you want, do it.
Nothing wrong with that.
Until – We need to adjust them.
What do you mean? – you ask in bewilderment. I know your kind.
Are you suggesting I let go of my high standards?
When would I need to adjust anything?
Let’s see: I wonder if any of these will sound familiar.
If you are a mom and your newborn has been struggling with an ear infection for the last three days (and nights) and neither one of you have gotten any sleep.
If you are the parent of a toddler who is potty-training and you have done more loads of laundry for one day that you had every imagined possible. Let’s not forget carpet cleaning, walls washing and the plumber calling because – well, because toiled paper and kids.
If you just traveled across the globe as a family of five and are getting back to the time-zone you are in and it seems that EVERYone is angry, hungry, hangry and anything else in between literally all.the.time.
If you have been feeling like crap for the last week and a half and are single-parenting for most of it because your spouse travels at least twice a month and those two trips just happened to happen now. Because it’s always great timing like that.
If you have had the unexpected happen at work or at home and your basement is flooded or someone dear passed away or got that dreaded phone call from the doctor’s office.
It’s alright to keep your expectations in check when out-of-the-ordinary things completely bulldozer any of our hopes and dreams for the day.
Or for the week.
And you you do what you have to do to adjust.
How?
Like this:
You shorten your to-do list to the 3 minimum requirements. Or you get it down to THE. ONE. THING.
Maybe you scratch your regular cleaning day altogether.
Maybe you plan on having pizza or takeout for dinner. Three days in a row. Who cares.
Maybe you skip an activity that night for one of your kids. Or all of them. (Since your migraine and vertigo is so bad you can barely see, how would you manage to drive? And we all know that finding rides last minute from other parents, friends or neighbors can be a nightmare. Save yourself before you even open that can of worms.)
Maybe instead of trying to stick to the original plan of a three course meal, which, yes, you had agreed on during your family meeting the previous Sunday, you do go by the fast food place and pick something up for your kids.
Because when circumstances change, you have the freedom to change the reality that follows it.
It’s your prerogative.
Because you’re in charge.
And if you’ve forgotten that – this is my reminder for you.
Trust me–
It will be better for you to be good with your kids than to try to stick to the uber-complicated schedule and lose your mind by end of night, yell and scream at them only to have to apologize in the morning.
It will be better to still love and adore your spouse than to start a war between you two because you cannot seem to let go of the musts. (So what if the yogurt or bread spoils?)
It will be better for you both to chill and and remember your out-of-the-ordinary major circumstance and just get through the day than to push everyone away as a result of pushing through.
And no, I am not advocating for you to push through in life.
Or to be wasteful.
But if you have to choose one over the other, moving an entree to the following night, or be on no-speaking terms with your husband, which one is it gonna be? Isn’t it the best $3 spent? (And the expiration date on stuff is arbitrary anyway).
You get what I am saying?
Keep this in mind when you set your expectations for the night.
And let grace enter.
And I’m talking for yourself, your kids, your spouse and again – yourself.
Let me borrow something my mother-in-law used to ask – her famous last words: ten years from now, will it matter that the floors were sticky (because someone dropped the watermelon all over it), or that the kids had mac’n cheese for dinner five times in a row?
I think you know the answer.
By allowing it, this doesn’t have to become your new normal.
It will just become the normal that you drop to when your situation requires it and you aren’t able to even think about your own expectations.
And grace allows you not to beat yourself up about it to no end.
If you know someone who needs to hear this today – part or all of it – will you help them out and share this post with them? I’ll be grateful – and I have a feeling they will, too.
