You may have heard it too.
This is what I’ve been training for all my life.
The introverts are finally in their element.
This is what their life would look like all. the. time – Social Distancing being the dream.
[And, if you missed it, we talked about Social distancing and what it’s NOT here – check it out if you didn’t see it.]
But the truth is, it’s not all that simple.
Because for the true introvert, their house would be their house.
There would be no more than one pair of feet moving from one room to the next. And if this is you –
I hear you.
I see you.
I know your world is upside down.
And – hear this when I say – Help is on the way.
Now – To the Es among us Is – Chances are you have an introverted soul in your life – For the love of all the people, be a dear and send this to them, will you?
And yes, don’t worry – We are working on a survival guide for you too. I will post it here when it’s ready.
I know your kids are at home.
I know your spouse is at home and who knows who else is living at that cozy home of yours.
I know EVERYONE is getting in your way.
You can barely remember the last time that you cleaned your kitchen without being interrupted.
You need the alone time.
Here comes recommendation No. 1: Keep (or start) getting up early
Yes, I mean before anyone else is awake.
You know, when you can still hear the bird’s chirping outside, and nobody is interrupting their lovely song – you know, that time.
Keep and treasure that time and do what you have to to not let anyone or anything get in your way.
Do some reading.
Do some just quiet-being. (I know that’s not proper English – but these are extreme circumstances we are living in – and the true introvert knows what I mean)
Do some thinking.
Do some praying, meditating or gratitude exercising.
Write.
Write your heart and soul out – on your computer, in your journal – of both.
The secret is – The more of these you do, the more effective they become.
And then sit.
Just sit and breathe.
And then – brace for impact. But I can promise you, the better you become at this, the more prepared you will be for the impact that’s coming. All the extra feet running around the house.
Take an hour or two to do this.
Every day. Even if you are calling yourself a night owl and think you can’t survive the day without the extra hours of sleep – to you I say – do this EVEN IF it means that you are going to take a nap later in the day.
You know how when your kids were little, you could power through anything (or almost anything) that happened in the morning because you knew, after you feed the littles, your break time comes?
Because – Nap time, right?
Now, you might no longer have kids who are napping age, that doesn’t mean that your break is obsolete.
Re-Institute Quiet Play Time
Make it a household-wide agreement or rule.
I know many of us have kids at home, and they need some direction.
But that doesn’t mean, that after lunch, you all can’t clean up the table and set the record straight to say: You need to find something to do, a book to color, a story to listen to (in their ears, of course), a book to read, a game to play (quietly, in their designated space), a craft to work on, what ever you can do – but you need to be able to do it alone and quietly, and in your room.
And the rule is – short of using the restroom, you don’t come out unless your life is in danger.
And we will all reconvene at the kitchen table two hours from now.
Bribe them with a snack of their choice, I don’t care.
But once you get them taken care of, get some work done.
Or read a book.
Take that nap.
Listen to music, and dance while nobody is watching.
Do that exercise routine.
Call that friend. (yes, we have friends and we like to talk to them a LOT – we just don’t need hundred and fifty of them in the same room at the same time!)
Whatever you need – do that.
And Recharge.
Quiet Play Time – It’s magic.
And it does magical things for your soul.
You know how we are not supposed to hang around other people, which is the reason that you are now at home –
You might still need to get out of the house, as much as you love it, because you aren’t able to have it to yourself the way you really like it.
So – Go for a Drive
I know we are not supposed to be going and running errands, so don’t do that.
But you can go for a drive.
Bring your music & sing your heart out.
If you are one of those environment conscious folks who wouldn’t be driving anywhere for no reason (I say, mental health is a reason. A darn good one, too – but if you are), here’s what you can do instead.
Drive your car to a park nearby, put it in park, turn the engine off, and just sit, doing the exact same thing you would if you were driving.
If you are gonna go reaaaally nuts, and are worried you’d be seen by someone you know, you might want to drive one park farther out.
Or find a parking lot – most of them are all deserted anyway.
Create your own alone time this way, the best way you can.
One other way that you can invite everyone into your Modus operandi without them ever knowing it, you can do this simple thing.
In fact, we can’t really talk about a survival guide for the introverted soul without talking about reading, which is why the next step is this:
Introduce/Re-introduce Family Reading Hour
Yes, get everyone re-acquainted with books.
You mean that thing with a lot of words on pages that are glued together and bound inside a cover? Yes, that thing.
Your kids may look at you funny at first, but don’t let that deter you.
I don’t believe people don’t like to read.
They just haven’t found what it is that they are interested in reading about.
Your spouse and your kids included.
You can help them find out what that is.
Help them get their hands on something according to their taste.
And then, get every one ready for bed, and spend an hour lounging in your favorite spot on the couch, music on or off – your collective preference – and read together.
As long as you can tolerate the occasional giggle or gasp from one corner of the room as one of you might have just found out about a new kind of monster, you are set.
This might seem like a no-brainer to many, but I find that we miss out on the benefit of this so much of the time that I’m just gonna talk about it.
You know how I said, and the first thing on this list was – get up early?
The last thing on this list gonna be –
Decide When Bedtime Is For Everyone & Guard It with Everything You’ve Got
Guard it like your life depends on it.
Because, let’s be honest.
It does.
If your kids are in bed on time, that means – that either you can go to bed at that same time (AKA early, right? – are you seeing what I am doing there?)
OR – You can get everyone in their place and that allows you an extra – I don’t know – thirty, sixty, hundred and twenty minutes of you time.
Or, you and your spouse time (I specialize in working with couples – I had to work this in somehow, you knew that).
Or, you and more book time.
Or, cleaning the kitchen, washing the sheets or picking up time.
Or This is Us time. (I just confessed to a client earlier today, so I may as well say it out loud)
Or – whatever-you-need-it-to-be-on-any-given-night time.
But you get to decide what that is BECAUSE everyone else is taken care of.
They are done for the day and so can you.
This one’s easy.
Go for a walk. Walk up and down your stairs for ten minutes. Pick up a jar of kalamata olives from the fridge and lift it above your head fifty times.
Do it with or without someone.
If you have kids, bring them along for the walk, get them on their bikes or roller blades.
Whatever you do, get yourself to move.
As an alternative – Put one ear bud in (if you are in company of others) with whatever your jam is and still be there for the people.
Now, you might be thinking, I don’t have kids that are old enough to make quiet play time work for them.
Or reading-alone time work for them.
Maybe they will actually take that nap.
Maybe you are one whose kids are out of the house and you have it totally easy – As long as you can adjust it for you and your spouse, you are golden.
There is the ideal deal.
And then there is – the next best thing.
If you can’t do what ideally would be fantastically awesome, do the next best thing.
Cut the time a little shorter if you must.
Carry a child on your back for some of it, if you must.
Pretend you fell asleep for some. (Just don’t tell them I said so.)
Do the next best thing and ask your intro- or extroverted spouse to help you with it.
That is totally kosher & allowed.
It’s in the rules – I read them.
And if your spouse is, in fact, an introvert – You two should read this together tonight. Combining forces, you are gonna come out stronger than ever.
PS: As for the Survival Guide for the Extroverted Souls out there – It’s HERE, of course!
We wouldn’t leave you hanging.
Either way – send this to your introverted husband, or wife, or BFF.
They will thank you for caring.
