So, You Tell Me…

 

 

 

So, you tell me – The Thing YOU Say

So, you tell me that you are SOOO DIFFERENT.

That you are on the opposite sides of the spectrum and have no idea why you ended up together.

That you don’t even like the same things.

Or so it seems.

And that the difference is driving you crazy.

Maybe not even both of you – but certain one.

 

I hear this during the initial phone consultation (yes, I’m still doing those; and yes, I offer one to each one of you, you’ll each get your time, don’t worry) when I ask what brings you my way.

But here’s the thing I want to come back with.

 

You Tell Me – MY RESPONSE

 

Hello! Of course you are different.

That’s why you liked him in the first place.

Remember that saying – Opposites attract?

We usually don’t look for that human that looks, acts, wants, and is exactly like us.

You know why?

Because it would be boring.

You’d be bored by the end of your honeymoon.

I guarantee it.

Imagine marrying someone who is the spitting image of you – in all the ways.

First of all – Impossible, right? (because we haven’t yet figured out how to clone ourselves, of course)

Second of all – That would be predictable, mind-reading (not in a good way) and – did I already say this – BORING.

 

My Response, Continued

 

So, of course you are different.

We were all made to be unique human beings to walk this planet with our own purpose for our life.

Here’s the thing –

What if that’s not a problem?

Have you ever considered this — What if it was always supposed to be that way?

What if you could use that for your benefit instead of undermining the ground you’re standing on?

Let me offer you something:

What if you knew how to talk about all the things- and how they changed and went from A) I really like this about you to B) This is when it becomes obnoxiously annoying – without either one of you taking a hit?

What if it could become nourishing for your marriage and the level of excitement in it – instead of ammunition to fight each other with?

Help you both grow?

This is what it takes.

You two changing your mind about it – about how to address it, how you talk about those differences to each other, and to other people, how you ask for what you each need instead.

The best part?

All of that?

Totally possible.

 

So, if you are ready – and would like to get on the phone with me, here’s the link.

See when we can start.

This is your marriage we’re talking about.