Having done this for so long – in my mind, everybody knows.
But then I run into someone, this week it was this older couple who had absolutely no idea.
And of course, I’m the one who gets to point this out to them.
Because staying in the not knowing – in the end – isn’t helping anyone.
Sitting in my office with a couple, I dared to suggest that he, the husband, had a rulebook packed with things in his back pocket.
The husband, we’ll call him Mark, bless his heart, looked at me with a level of confusion I hadn’t seen in a while, and uttered these words:
“What rule book? I don’t have a rule book.”
His wife looked at me in disbelief – as if to make sure that we both heard him saying the same thing – and we both laughed.
I couldn’t help it.
So I went on to explain.
That he had all these rules lined up in his brain:
About how to wake up in the morning
How to clean house
About how to do projects (separately or together)
When to work and when not to work
How to spend their free time
What was allowed for them to spend their money on and what was not….
And on it went…
And that all wasn’t well in this world unless things were going his way.
Following all the rules in his rule book.
Unless she subscribed to it and followed all the suggestions.
The whole thing was lined up with expectations.
Reluctantly as it may have been, he agreed.
“Alright, alright – I guess I see it.”
“Now I do.”
And he smiled in return.
Don’t get me wrong — It’s ok that he has a rule book.
But the problem was – he had been keeping his rulebook to himself all these years.
Never opened it in front of her.
Had never shared a chapter or two.
All the while, it wasn’t serving either of them.
So, if you are sitting there, convincing yourself, too, that you don’t have one of those rule books, stubborn as can be 🙂 –
Just know that you do, too.
And it’s not a problem.
There is no shame.
We all do.
We all have one, I promise.
The magic is in this — It’s in each one of us bringing those rulebooks to the table, and creating OURS together.
The Rule Book of us, if you will.
It starts with laying them out separately on the table.
And then sorting through, eliminating and adding things to it until you have a result that you both can sign off on.
That’s it.
It’s simple, really.
Just takes a little bit of concerted effort.
And then you revisited as you need to.
Go ahead and try it.
And if you run into difficulties, and are looking for some help – You know where to find me.
You can schedule an Initial Phone Consultation right here.
One for each of you.
Let’s talk.
