How to RECOVER in your marriage from a relational micro-mishap at RAPID SPEED

Some of you call them hiccups.

Yes, those.

Say these words out loud:

“Hey, I don’t want to hold this over my head (or yours) all day long, can I just run it by you real quick?

Assuming that your spouse is game.

Assuming that you are both nowhere near the 8, 9 or 12 on the emotional scale when the last thing you should be doing is trying to address this – does that make sense?

Meaning, that neither one of you is really deeply in the emotion of the upset still – or whatever else it is you might be feeling.

And when I say assuming, I mean – you check in with you, and you check in with each other.

That’s the start.

Here’s another variation of the same thing:

“I don’t want this to ruin our day – can I run something by you real quick?”

And then you do the minimalist’s version of the Feedback wheel and get back to good.

And go on to have an amazing Saturday.

Or a fabulous weekend.

This is how that is done.

Take it from me, an ex-blackbelt-withdrawer.

(I know, it’s a made-up word.)

But, you know, that losing strategy of withdrawing from your spouse when it would serve you so much better to come together, and lean in? That.)

That kind of ‘withdrawer’.

We’ll talk about that more another time.

For now – just try one of those two phrases.

Because – that is – truly – how you can quickly recover.

I have so much proof – Both from our own home and other couples’ homes.

But go ahead, you put it to the test yourself.

You’ll see.

The moment you start using this on a regular basis, and the better you get at it, of course – you will single-handedly be able to prevent the ruining of your day.