Let me ask you something.
How real have you been with your spouse about what’s going on between you two?
And I don’t mean- how many times you said a thing or two, or much how much of the neighborhood heard about it also-
I mean-
How HONEST have you been about how you are really feeling?
About how bad things have truly become?
How heartbroken, or disconnected, or plain sad, maybe even low on energy & hope, you are feeling about your interactions?
How honest have you been about how hard it’s been, what you are thinking and what needs to change in response…?
Without you letting it go and adding that conversation to the pile of similar conversations you’ve had that never went anywhere?
How honest were you?
When was the last time you were truly open about where you two are, about where this marriage of yours is?
It’s really important that you are, really honest, that is.
Calm, collected and loving – but honest.
Without that- they will never know, and worse yet- nothing will ever change.
Because it can’t.
Do this even when your marriage is in a great spot, but most certainly do it when it’s not.
So if you’ve been dancing around the idea of speaking up, today is a great day.
To open the door anyway, and begin.
Make no mistake –
It matters NOT that your BFF knows all the things.
Or that your mom and dad have all the details of your current (unpleasant, as it may be) situation/s with your spouse.
Or that your entire social media world is aware.
All of that does you absolutely no good.
Exactly zero – truly.
If the ONE person that needs to hear it –
The person that needs to hear you say these things to them – to bring it into THEIR awareness –
IF they are still clueless —
None of the other sharing is useful at all.
Unless ALL you are looking for is a listening ear, possibly a little bit of relief (’cause when we tell, when we get something out of our system, there IS relief) and no change.
Then, keep on doing what you’ve been doing.
You will confirm the readiness and willingness of the listening ears, the reality of the minimal relief, and – No change.
Just so long as you know that – There Will Be No Change.
One of the most common lies that we end up believing or using as a way out (or, an excuse) when your marriage is in the rut (or on the way there).
IT will take care of ITself.
How long has it been since you two have been saying that to yourselves?
It’s a good one.
I don’t blame you.
And also – Hate to break it to you, but…
IT won’t do ANYthing, let alone take care of ITself.
As much as you’re hoping that it will.
As much as it would be useful if it did.
As much as it would provide relief to you and your spouse both.
IT isn’t equipped to do any of that.
But guess what? —
You two are.
That’s the good news.
Fantastic news even – You know why?
Because you two – You have control over that.
Control over what you do, how you proceed, what you change and when.
You two can take care of your marriage, no matter where on the ‘failing’ continuum it lies as you sit there, reading this today.
This is real and it works.
Schedule a call with me HERE – Let’s make a plan together.
