This MIGHT just be THE MOST unrecognized BREAKER OF TRUST.
Did you know this?
You are not who you say are.
You are not what you say you’re going to do but never ACTUALLY do.
Soooo…
The million dollar question is:
Are YOU doing this?
Where you’re saying you’re gonna SAY something, or you’re saying you’re gonna DO something —
And then NOT doing it.
You don’t say the thing.
That, right there, my friend – It shatters marriage after marriage.
It re-creates the brokenness.
It creates distrust and tells your spouse, on repeat, mind you, that you are not reliable.
That you’re not to be trusted.
That you can’t be held to that standard.
It teaches your spouse that they can’t count on it – no matter what you say you’re gonna do.
What happens next, you wonder?
If they know that it’s not happening – that they can’t count on it – THEY are going to put it on their list of things to take care of themselves because they know it’s not happening otherwise.
It’s not getting done otherwise.
And we don’t want that.
None of us want that, right?
Now, I talked about how we may need to write things down more because there’s just SO MUCH happening the other day –
Or find SOME other way of keeping track of all the things on our plates.
Making note of the things – including the things that are important to your spouse – If we don’t note those things down, what gives?
Back to the question.
How are you going to make certain that you don’t become part of the statistics?
What is it that you KNOW of right now – that you are/were not doing that you said you were gonna do and you haven’t gotten taken care of?
I want to invite you to be on alert.
Read – Red flags, alarms, bells going off.
What’s still hanging over your head?
What did you ignore because, maybe, you didn’t deem it as necessary?
Whether that’s last summer, or a year ago, something you said you were going to take care of last Christmas even —
Bottom line, you didn’t do it.
IS there something like that that you are aware of?
That you can think of on the spot?
If so – attack it ASAP.
Make amends as fast as humanly possible.
If you have no idea – it might be that your brain can’t even go back that far (and I mean, sometimes 2 weeks ago is going back too far) –
You can ask your spouse.
Is there something that I promised I would do for you/with you/with the family that I failed to deliver on?
I want to make right by you.
You could even check in with them and ask, in a more general sense – Am I like this? Have I become this person that you don’t even take seriously anymore because I can’t be trusted in the things I say I’ll do?
And then listen – and take notes.
Real good ones.
And once you have it all down, go attack those notes like your life depends on it.
Because your marriage does.
Your spouse – trusting you – depends on it.
Don’t leave it to chance.
This is how you start writing a new story – the one where you are someone they can rely on, trust and depend on with anything.
It happens one making-good-on-your-word moment at a time.
And going forward – when in doubt – don’t overpromise.
Don’t promise something that you don’t 100% intend to execute on.
It’s always better to under-promise and overdeliver than to overpromise and underdeliver.
That principal is true in business and CERTAINLY in relationships.
Your marriage included.
Trust me.
