This post is for you IF you are FRUSTRATED that your Spouse isn’t recovering FAST ENOUGH AFTER INFIDELITY.
As I was driving to the office this morning, at one of the intersections, I got stopped at a red light.
I was the first one in line to go through at the traffic lights.
I wait, like any other human would, for the red light to change to green.
BUT – When green hits – I don’t go right away.
I still look, both ways, right and left – to make sure it’s clear.
It’s not that I don’t trust the lights.
I trust the lights – I know it’s green, and it won’t get any greener.
It’s just that I learned NOT to go right when the red switches to green.
I had this experience, I don’t know – 15 years ago? – that left me with this.
My husband and I were driving home after getting groceries, and were stopped at a red light then.
We were the second in line.
When the colors changed, we watched the car in front of our eyes get T-Boned at 55 miles/hour, ending up on the opposite side of the street, all banged up.
We pulled over immediately, called 911, checked with the woman in the car that was hit – the whole nine yards.
It turned out the driver was unconscious due to a medical situation.
We waited until the emergency vehicles arrived.
Anyway – All these years later, I STILL don’t immediately go at a green light.
Not just in the winter time.
(People will say, oh, I do it in the winter time, too, when the road conditions are a mess – and I’m glad you do).
I do it in the middle of the summer, on a beautiful sunny spring day or just a random Tuesday in the middle of the fall.
I don’t care of someone honks at me, or if they give me a not so friendly wave.
Doesn’t bother me – I don’t care about any of it.
I just do it.
STILL.
Even though 15 years passed between then and now.
It’s automatic.
Even though I haven’t had that same experience between now and then.
That was the only time that happened.
The point is this.
If you went outside your marriage and had a fling with someone that wasn’t your spouse and your spouse is still reacting in the same way in particular situations as a result –
This is why.
Maybe it’s your driving by the restaurant where the dates were happening.
Perhaps it’s your family having to avoid a particular hotel chain for your family vacations as a result.
Or trying to not drive through an entire city altogether.
It’s when you bring up the company (that you since left) that you used to work for at the time of the affair.
Or – the company the other person was working for.
If they still have some sort of response like that –
It doesn’t even mean that they haven’t done their work.
It just might have become one of these automatic responses that have been engrained in their existence like my thing with the green light.
Plus let’s not forget –
And I say this with love –
Anytime you find yourself being impatient with their progress (or getting over it), remind yourself that the reason your spouse has that reaction at all to begin with is because of something YOU did.
