What if your rate in your marriage—
If your rate of showing-upness, regardless of what your spouse does or doesn’t do—
What if your rate of showing-upness was non-negotiable?
Like, non-question.
What would be happening then?
When married couples come and see me, they assume that we’re going to have to go down a list of 100-plus things—that that’s what the remedy is.
To which I say, “That’s not it. That’s not what it takes.”
It is just one thing at a time.
I recently did something in my own marriage for 21 days straight, and I talk about it in my last video.
But here’s the thing.
When I present that same winning proposition to my couples, they immediately come back with, “Oh, but it can’t be that simple. We’re not doing that. This is stupid,” right?
And I’m like, “No, but it can be. And it is.”
You only have to be willing to do the simple stuff and do it long enough.
Even when what you’re doing isn’t doing anything for you, when it’s doing all the things for your spouse.
And it’s when you’re doing that—that’s when it becomes invaluable.
If you, too, like me, got married to somebody from a different culture, I am wondering what an example of a cultural clash is for you.
I’ll tell you mine.
When you have people over—and this can be friends, family, or people from work, it doesn’t matter—you get everything set up.
You get it ready.
You have everything prepped.
And you think through everything.
You go to the store.
You have everything from appetizer to soup to lunch or meal to dessert—the whole nine yards.
The room is ready.
The table is set.
Napkins, tablecloth, glasses, and all of that.
When I got married, I quickly realized that is not the case here.
You can get a call on the way that you know—somebody says, “Hey, can you pick up such and such? We need it for dinner.”
So, two questions for you:
What is yours?
And, two, does your spouse know?
