If you two are finding yourselves frustrated more often than NOT –
Both with each other and with your kids because they are not doing what it is that you’re asking them to be doing —
Here is a reminder:
If you tell them you’re going to do something and then you don’t do it –
It’s not serving anyone.
It’s not serving you, it’s not serving them.
In the short run, in the long run – Either way.
They need to know that the consequence will be followed through.
That is the only way to get the frustration out of the picture.
That’s what your kids are after.
They are screaming for it.
They’re screaming for you to put down, so to speak, the law and then to stick with it.
So I invite you to try it.
If for the first time ever – do it this week.
If it’s – we used to do this but then we let it go or got too lazy or too comfortable or to busy –
And we didn’t want to bring this up with our kids – Then do it again.
Put a consequence down – Stand by your word, let them learn – let them know that they can trust you.
A colleague of mine posted this and I can’t help but share.
Here’s the quote:
“The ripple effect of your rage lasts long past the yelling. Know your impact.”
Here’s what I want to invite you to do:
And if you want to learn this and nail this for the rest of your days, reach out to me.
Your family- and the peace within that family –
It matters.
This might be an unpopular opinion but here’s my advice on love and what I’d say to new mom to be – or a new dad to be.
I recently went to a baby shower.
After we had a meal together, they asked for advice from the parents in the room to share with the parents-to-be.
One of the moms present stood up and essentially shared.
In the end, the overarching message being: “Just remember love”.
And I found myself cringing a little –
As I thought to myself –
Yes, love is important as you embark on this parenting journey and I would never tell a new mom or dad to be – don’t love on your kids.
BUT it’s not ALL you need.
Love is great – but you are also gonna need to know how to change a dirty diaper. If you’ve never seen a diaper, or held one in your hands or changed a dirty one on an actual baby –
You’re gonna want to know how to do that.
Love is great but you need to know how to rock your baby back to sleep at 2 oclock in the morning.
Love is great – but you need to know what to do when your three year old is refusing all the food you set in front of them – even though they were never finicky with their food before.
Same thing goes for your marriage.
Love is NOT the only thing you need and I’m gonna lay that out for you tomorrow, so stay tuned.
When it comes to your marriage, contrary to common belief AND Hollywood messaging:
Love is NOT all you need.
Love is great BUT you’re also gonna want to resolve how to resolve conflict when it arises.
And it does.
And it will.
Trust you me.
Eighteen years of marriage under my own belt – with my husband – and thousands of years combined between all the couples I’ve seen in my practice over the years.
Love is great but you’re going to have to know how to bring it up with your spouse when a need of yours isn’t being met.
Plus know how to do that in a productive way.
Love is great – but you’re gonna need to know what to do when you don’t see eye to eye.
How to walk away from a conversation in a productive way when you need to.
You’re gonna need to know when NOT to start a conversation with each other because ANY time is not a great time.
So no, love is not all you need –
And this is why.
Take that as part of my marriage advice and parenting advice – share it with a friend who you know is also struggling.
