She was literally heartbroken.
I was having a conversation with a couple earlier today, and it reminded me of something that somebody shared with me a long time ago.
When your spouse walks through the door, they go crazy with greeting the dogs, playing with them, and the kids, touching them, wrestling them, doing all the things, right?
The first time that I heard a wife say, “I am just so jealous that that’s not me,” like, “I don’t get any of that attention. I don’t get any of that love. I don’t get any of that directed at me,” the words actually came out of her mouth.
She said, “I wish I was the dog. I’d be seen more. I’d be loved.”
Are you doing this?
Unbeknownst to you, are you doing this?
Are you treating your wife like you treat your dog?
Are you doing this with your dog and not doing this with your wife or with your husband?
If that’s you, switch it. Seriously.
Give your wife the kind of love and attention that you give your dog and see what happens.
This is not that uncommon.
I’ve had many conversations along these same lines with couples since that day.
All I can say is, if you don’t have a protocol, if you don’t have a standard of greeting, if you don’t have a standard of care when you walk through the door, have a conversation about it.
Ask your partner, “When you come in, this is what I would like you to do. I would like you to say hello. I would like you to come and hug me.
Maybe be excited to see me.
I would like you to meet me at the door.
Could you help me with the bags?
I would like you to do whatever the thing is,” and just make it really clear.
The only way you know how to get your results is if you’re going to be really clear about what you’re asking.
Because this truth still stands: no matter how cute or handsome your husband is, he’s still not going to be able to read your mind.
Then, of course, it’s going to be up to your spouse.
It’s going to be up to your husband or wife, if they’re willing and able to do those things for you.
But it always starts with you coming up with and sharing the things the way that you would like them.
Best if you want to ask, “Do you ever feel like this?”
Flip it on him: “Do you ever feel like you’re jealous of the dog?”
Ask that of your spouse, and you’ll find out real quick—either because they’re going to laugh, or they’re going to be like, “How did you figure that out? Who told you?”
Anybody else’s husband sound like that, or is that just mine?
Either way, you’re going to have the information you wanted and the answer to your question.
Then you can change what you’re doing going forward.
So don’t forget to subscribe.
Go ahead and try it out.
Let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear in the comments!
Valentine’s Day is coming up.
Are you set?
Are you not?
Do you need help?
Are you at a loss of what to do for your husband?
We put so much pressure on our husbands for what they should do, for how they should show up, for how they should act, what they should say, and what kind of gifts they should get so that we feel loved, we feel taken care of, we feel seen.
And sometimes, we forget to do that same thing for them.
What are you doing for him?
Do you have ideas?
Do you need ideas?
I just recorded a video.
It’s coming out tomorrow about ideas for you and your husband.
And here’s the kicker: the whole thing is based off of what your husband’s love language is.
So if you need some help, if you need some ideas, find me tomorrow.
so you don’t miss it, and we’ll talk about it in detail then.
Ask if you need help in this department!
If you’re looking for an idea for your wife still for Valentine’s Day and you don’t have anything that you came up with, I have a brilliant idea for you.
Man, are you going to be grateful?
Here’s what I got: a flower that’s in a bulb.
It’s covered in wax—that’s the proper term.
But this is what it looks like two months later.
I got this before Christmas, but there’s still more flower coming.
It requires zero work, and it’s just gorgeous.
I recommend that you get this for your wife.
I’m going to keep getting this for my office because I’ve loved it so much, and I’ve gotten so many compliments on it.
I’ve been so grateful to the people that have brought that in.
Anyway, here’s your flower idea if you need one.
And it literally lasts forever.
It doesn’t require any care, and it’s just beautiful.
You don’t have to do anything about it.
You can get that every other month.
I think it’s 20 bucks on Amazon.
See if you can do better than that.
I want you to get it, and I want you to tell me what she says.
If you and your spouse are finding yourself fighting over who’s going to cook tonight, what you’re going to make, or you’re bored with what you’ve been having, here’s one for you that you can make in literally less than 5 minutes.
Tada!
The easiest dinner that you can make, that you don’t have to plan for and you don’t have to do anything extra with, on a weeknight, on a weekend, whenever you need.
I go into my fridge, I look to see what we have for leftovers.
I found some pasta that we have left over.
We always have some eggs.
We have some mushrooms.
I’m going to cut those up, fry them in olive oil, and then add the pasta in.
We always have eggs, right?
So for protein, if I don’t have any other kind of protein, we have meat in there, but it’s lamb, so it wouldn’t really work very well with this.
Then I have some leftover bacon that we had, so I’m going to put that on top.
Look at what you can combine together.
If you have rice, substitute that for the pasta.
If you don’t have anything, you probably have pasta in the house.
It’ll take 10 minutes.
In the meantime, you can do all your veggies.
If you’re not a mushroom fan, you can find peppers.
I would have added spinach for color, but I didn’t have any.
If you have any vegetables, or any roasted veggies left over, you can add them in too.
You make a meal literally in 5 minutes if you have all of this and just mix it up and eat it.
It tastes delicious, and you have a new idea if you need one.
Tada!
Go rock that dinner of yours!
I wonder if you’ve ever experienced this.
You have a coffee with a friend or a dinner with a family that are friends of yours, and then at the end, somebody says, “Oh, we should do this again soon,” and 7 years later, you have another coffee or another lunch.
Have you ever done this before?
This is the exact same thing that happens in the lives of married people.
They say to themselves, “Oh, we should do this.
We should go on a date every other Saturday or every other Friday,” except they fail to do the thing that it requires.
Right?
Putting it on the calendar, figuring out what they want to do, and setting a boundary to say, “This is going to be a non-negotiable thing.
I’m busy, you’re busy, we’re going to find somebody to be with the kids if you have little ones.”
This is what’s going to happen.
Here’s a really easy way to make that happen on repeat without having to dig into it every single time:
We got season tickets.
Season tickets to Orchestra Hall, theater in your town, even to a game.
Right?
Because it will force you, whether it’s on a weekly basis or on a monthly basis.
We buy these things, we enjoy this activity, we want to go do this thing and participate.
This is how we will make sure that not 7 years go by before we do the next thing.
Try it out.
Let me know what you decided.
I would love to know what your top favorite in-batching activities with your spouse are.
I’d love to see it in the comments.
