I went on a walk today.
As I’m getting ready to walk outside, I’m standing in the entryway for a good 20–30 seconds just going, “What am I forgetting? What am I forgetting?”
I’m touching my pockets, trying to figure out if I have my phone.
I had my headbutts—or earbuds or whatever.
And still I was like, “What? What else am I forgetting? I have to be forgetting something, because I feel—it feels too light. It feels too different. It feels wrong.”
Right?
I haven’t been able to go outside like this in a long time.
We’re in Minnesota, but on a day like today, it’s 62 degrees Fahrenheit—14 or 16 Celsius—so it’s warm.
I didn’t need a vest.
And I certainly did not need my winter coat.
I had this nagging feeling that I’m doing something wrong, or that I’m forgetting something important, that I’m going to regret not packing with me.
You might be experiencing the same thing in your marriage.
If you haven’t done something for a long time—or if you’ve done it, but you’ve done it in a different way—when it feels like you’re kind of on pause, or like a deer in the headlights.
Looking at your finances for the first time in a long time.
Or talking about scheduling for the first time in a long time.
Discussing your children’s summer activities—if you haven’t done that for a long time.
Or talking about spring break in a way that you haven’t in a long time, to make sure that it’s a success.
It just might feel that way.
And it doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong.
Just know that.
From my walk.
That’s my lesson for today.
How do you all celebrate when you get your tax return money back?
Me and my hubby are going out to dinner.
Mediterranean is in remembrance of our time in Rochester, New York.
There’s a really good place out there that we really enjoyed.
That was our trip for our anniversary.
We had a lot of fun.
So we’re going to go eat some of the same food.
If you and your spouse live anywhere near the Twin Cities—
Naf naf, this place is definitely a must.
Couples who get along well together—they ask themselves this, not the other person.
They ask themselves this: What is mine to own in this?
Why does it matter?
Because when you own your part—even if it’s just 5%—you create emotional safety.
You build trust between the two of you.
You show your spouse, “I am not here to win.
I want us to be good together.
And I don’t want to be good or right over there in the corner by myself.
I want us to win as a couple.
And I’m here to grow.
And I know I still have things to learn.”
What’s on the other side of things?
Blame.
And blame creates distance.
We all know this.
Responsibility, on the other hand—that brings you closer.
And that’s the point.
So own your part, even if it’s small.
Because it’s how you win together.
Here’s habit number six for a healthy marriage: Own your part.
It’s so easy to blame.
Here’s Habit #7 for a strong relationship: Check in—even when there’s nothing big to say.
Ask, “How’s your heart?”
Or, “What’s been weighing on you lately?”
Even just—“How are we doing?”
Why does this matter?
Because when life gets busy—and it does, you know this—it’s easy to skip the small stuff.
But the small stuff is the relationship.
Check-ins build safety, connection, and trust.
Even on an ordinary Tuesday.
So if you’re after any of those:
Check in with the one you love.
Even when there’s nothing “big.”
You’re not helping your spouse.
You’re just hiding your no in fake agreement.
And that never builds trust.
So say what you mean.
Say it with love, but say it clearly.
Be real with your spouse.
Because you know what really serves you as a married couple?
Let your yes be your yes, and your no be your no.
Can’t tell you how many times I heard my grandfather say this when he was still alive.
Same with my dad—countless times.
Yes, it is a Biblical principle.
But even if you’re not into the Bible, the truth still stands.
Because when you say, “I guess so,” or “Sure,” when deep down it’s really a no—
Or you’re, like, not sold or undecided—you’re not helping your spouse.
You are wondering about the marriage that faded?
It didn’t fall apart overnight.
It faded.
One unspoken frustration at a time.
One “I’m fine” that wasn’t.
One night scrolling instead of talking.
It didn’t break.
It drifted.
Because they stopped showing up for each other.
Stopped choosing one another over all the other things in their lives.
Stopped seeing each other.
I’ve said this before.
I will say it again—
And I will keep saying it until I am blue in the face—
A strong, a good marriage doesn’t just need love.
It needs attention.
And it needs intention.
Every. Single. Day. Of the week.
So if you’re wondering about the marriage that faded?
You’re not failing.
You’re just in struggle mode.
You know what that is, right?
Everything your spouse says feels like a jab.
Every little thing turns into a fight.
Defense mode.
Yeah, I said it.
It’s not connection.
Here’s the truth: the struggle switch isn’t about the problem itself.
It’s about the posture.
When you, on purpose, choose curiosity over criticism—
Compassion over control—
That’s when it happens.
You flip the switch.
And the whole relationship shifts.
The moment that you realize that—
