It’s Friday night.
Are you too struggling, like so many of us married folk struggle, with looking through Netflix and just not being able to find what you want to watch?
If you’re looking for meaningful ways to connect, click the video.
You think staying silent keeps the peace.
I used to think so too, for the longest time.
It doesn’t though.
It builds walls.
Saying what you need — saying it clearly and kindly — it’s how you build connection between you and your spouse.
And how that grows.
So, my two cents: do speak up.
Do it without guilt.
It’s the habit that changes everything.
You have the power to stop the backfiring from happening, right now.
If you’re not doing that, you’re still doing this — what I used to do.
Staying silent.
The famous quote goes something like this:
“You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems”
Did you catch that?
Same thing goes for your marriage.
You, your honey plus systems = success.
What are you doing rain or shine?
Let’s be real for a second:
How well are you two doing?
How connected are you two on this random Sunday in May…
Truly…
One last one.
Halfway through the session, the guy looks at me and says, “Can I schedule for a year?”
And I’m like, “Yep.”
He laughs, and I say — and I’m like — “I’m serious. Schedule date nights for a year.”
Batching date nights.
Batching child care.
And batching meal plans.
Batching — like there’s nothing better.
Like this is music to my soul.
Batch date nights for an entire 52-week period.
And decide: every Friday, every other Saturday — whatever it is.
And I’m going to make a reservation.
We’re all set.
And we’re going.
And come hell or high water, this is on the calendar.
We’re making this happen.
Give that a try and tell me that it doesn’t work.
It’s just going to make you giddy, like I am.
Like I’m right now.
And I’m not even the one going.
Double dates — oh, they’re so fun.
But they’re not connection.
You’re talking to everyone else but your spouse.
Date night is for the two of you.
Deep conversation.
Eye contact.
Real presence.
Do not outsource your intimacy.
Uh, we’ve been there, done that.
If you’re wondering, “What else are we doing that’s not helping our cause?” — watch the related video.
I had a couple tell me recently, “I didn’t think I needed to apologize.
I figured it would just blow over.
And I figured she’d just forget.”
This is what I told them.
An apology isn’t about erasing the past.
It’s about restoring the connection.
Even a simple, “Hey, I didn’t mean for that to come out that way,” can soften the edge that’s lingering between the two of you.
Most couples — they don’t fall apart from dramatic, big moments.
They crumble under the weight of all the unspoken stuff.
So don’t underestimate your apology.
Even the small ones.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just has to be sincere.
Try.
