The biggest mistake couples make when it comes to forgiveness is thinking that it’s the same thing as forgetting.
I don’t know how this is still a thing, but I hear it over and over.
It’s not.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending that it didn’t happen.
Forgiveness doesn’t even mean pretending that it didn’t hurt.
It simply just means you’re choosing not to live in, or not to live from, that hurt place anymore.
When you rush forgiveness—and you’ve got to know this—you skip the healing process.
Oftentimes, when you slow down and you let understanding be the first thing that comes, forgiveness becomes freedom and not pressure.
So, you can forgive without erasing what happened.
And that’s what real healing looks like anyway.
Why wouldn’t we want to go for that?
Because here’s the thing…
Here’s something I’ve noticed over and over in marriage.
The couples who feel the richest, the most connected, the most content—they’re not the ones who have it all figured out.
They’re the ones who notice what they already have.
Gratitude changes everything.
Because the second you stop counting what’s missing and you start appreciating what’s right in front of you, your marriage starts to feel abundant again.
Appreciation creates connection.
It’s what turns the ordinary into enough.
Hey, can we talk about holiday traditions for a second?
Because sometimes we do things year after year without ever asking why.
Maybe it started as something sweet, but now it just feels like a chore—or worse yet, a financial headache.
I just heard a family say they still buy children’s books for every single adult in the family—and I’m talking about extended family—at Christmas time because that’s what Grandpa used to love.
That’s what he wanted to do.
That was his thing.
Except no one’s enjoyed it in years.
So here’s your reminder: you get to redecide.
Traditions are meant to serve you, not to drain you in any way.
You can keep what’s meaningful—if that’s what it is.
And lovingly retire—and I say again, lovingly retire—when it’s not.
The best traditions are the ones that still create joy for everyone involved, not guilt.
So maybe this year you two need to sit down and ask each other, “Do we still love this?”
And if not, go ahead and create something new that actually feels like you, that’s meaningful to you.
Most couples think they cannot afford to work on their marriage right now.
Are you and your spouse that couple?
Here’s what I’ve seen again and again as a marriage coach over the last 13 years.
You cannot afford not to.
Because your marriage—it’s already costing you as it is every single day in ways you may not have even realized yet.
I’m walking you through ten not-so-obvious ways that your marriage is draining your wallet, your time, and your emotional energy right now.
So you can decide if you’re ready to stop paying the price for being miserable.
When your wife keeps asking for more alone time together, this is what she means.
Being in the same room at the same time on purpose with her.
That’s it.
It’s that simple.
How are you going to make that happen?
