If you’re a wife like me, you’ve done this more than once, maybe hundreds of times.
Actually, every time that my husband used to be off, I’d make it mean that I did something wrong, that I forgot something.
I’d go down this list of: What did I say?
What did I do?
And what did I miss?
What was I supposed to have done for him, for the family?
And what am I missing?
What is the thing that he may have asked me to do, and I didn’t do it?
I’ve played that game for way too many years.
If you’re still playing that game, I’m here to tell you that it’s an exhausting game.
And if you’re playing it, you also know—you already know it.
So, stop participating.
Stop playing.
Stop wondering what it is that I’m doing or what it is that I’m missing.
And just ask the man.
Today’s teaback truth pump for your marriage.
Your breath fills you with energy anywhere and anytime that you need it.
And yes, I want you to use that for your marriage.
When you feel tense, when you’re feeling defensive or misunderstood even, I want you to stop talking for a few moments, for a few minutes.
Just stop talking and breathe.
Because your breath is the fastest way to reset your body, your tone, all of it.
Before you say something reactive, take one deep breath.
That’s your reset button.
It’s how you come back to yourself, right?
It’s how you come back to calm so that you can come back to your spouse.
On the other hand, if you can slow down long enough to just say, that makes sense, or I can see why that hurt, I can see that it hurt.
You’d be amazed how much healing happens right there.
You cannot fix what you haven’t first understood and felt.
The biggest mistake I see couples make when one spouse is hurt is the other one rushes to fix it.
They want it to go away, and they want it to go away fast.
But when you try to fix something before you actually understand it, before you feel with your spouse, your partner ends up feeling dismissed every single time.
If you’ve ever had that “you’ve spent how much?” moment, or you’re secretly tallying your spouse’s Amazon boxes as they appear at the door, today’s video is for you.
We’re going to talk about why money fights spike during the holidays and how to get back on the same page—and do it fast—without killing the joy, generosity, or the connection between the two of you.
For the entire thing, go to the related video link.
You know what couples argue about more than anything else during the holidays?
Money.
How much to spend?
Who’s spending what?
What’s too much and what’s not enough?
The problem isn’t just the dollars or the amounts.
As is true with every other money fight in a marriage, by the way, it’s what those dollars mean.
Because money during the holidays isn’t just about budgets.
It has everything to do with expectations, love languages, childhood traditions, and—no surprise to anyone.
