A dear friend of mine just confessed that this encouraged her.
I want to share it, just in case it encourages you too.
This is our Christmas tree.
I’m not going to lie—it didn’t take us one day to put it up.
It took us one day to buy it.
It took us another day to bring it in.
And it took us a week to finally get to put up the decorations.
We had a couple of things happen in the meantime.
The child broke her leg.
Somebody needed to have surgery on said leg.
The child got the flu.
Somebody traveled.
Somebody had things going on every single night of the week.
You do not need to make it happen.
Your tree, your family—none of them care.
Whoever said that the tree needs to be done by a certain time and be all done in one single day—I don’t know whose rule that is.
But guess what?
That’s the beauty of this.
I’m looking at the tree now, and I’m going to be looking at it for the next several weeks.
We are going to be the last people to take it down.
Also, the whole neighborhood already knows.
And we don’t care.
You can do this holiday season, this Christmas season, and really at any season at all.
You can change the rules of the game as much or as little as you need to so that it serves you.
So that it serves your family.
So that you’re not running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
You get to do it.
You’re the adult that sets the rules.
So if you need to not have a tree until the very last minute, or the lights don’t go up until two days after you put it up, or you haven’t even thought about a Christmas tree yet—maybe you just don’t do one.
Maybe you don’t need one this year.
That’s okay.
Also, please know that all of this is allowed.
You get to change the rules of the game.
I trust this served someone.
And if it did—if it does—let me know in the comments what you’re changing the rules about this year.
Are you letting freedom win?
I want to know.
Can’t wait to hear from you.
We’re all moms with teenage daughters.
You know how all year we have to go back and forth to birthday parties and get this and get that?
All the things that you need to buy.
All the money that you need to spend.
Christmas, obviously, is another time.
Here’s a brand-new request—one that I’ve never heard before.
What’s the one thing that your kid came to ask for as a gift for a friend?
They were like, “I can’t say no.”
I’ll go first.
“Mom, can I buy my bestie a Bible?”
Your turn.
Tell me what yours is.
Is this what your marriage looks like?!
Really dirty, grimy and really kind of gross?
Like the sides of our oven that’s been pulled out for the first time after 5 years?
What if it could look like this instead?
How would you like that??
If you’ve ever heard somebody say that thing, “Choose your hard,” there’s definitely something to it.
Like when you decide that you want to take your family and get on a 6 a.m. flight on a Monday morning before Christmas because it ended up saving some money, since you have five people traveling this time around.
But then what happens?
We all know what happens.
You end up paying for it on the day that you only get three hours of sleep.
Some children only got one and a half hours of sleep.
It’s not great, but you do it anyway.
It’s hard either way.
And it’s hard on either side, and you just need to choose your own hard.
So if you’re ready to just suck it up for one day and say, “It’s just going to be a jet-lag day—one extra day,” that’s what you do.
And here’s the thing—there’s not just one right hard thing to choose.
Depending on where you are in life.
Depending on where you are in your marriage.
You might be going back and forth between a couple of different things.
And that’s okay.
Depending on where your kids are.
Depending on what they need.
Maybe you have somebody on crutches.
Some hards are sometimes harder, and some not-so-hards are sometimes not so hard.
So just think about it.
Talk about it ahead of time.
And make the best decision that you know how at the time that you’re making it.
It’s one of the best things that I learned from my coach, Brooke.
And it applies not just to your personal life.
It applies to your relationship decisions.
It applies to your work decisions.
And It applies to your family decisions.
Your kids’ decisions.
All of it.
Trust me.
Try it out, and you’ll see for yourself.
That was not a real apology.
Have you ever said that to yourself after somebody offered an “I’m sorry,” or said it to somebody else?
Your spouse, as an example.
Here’s how it’s not done.
“You don’t want to listen to me, right?”
“Right.”
“Donkey.”
“No.”
“Okay, look, I’m sorry.”
“All right.”
And in turn, how it is.
“I’m sorry.”
“I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.”
“Can you forgive me?”
I feel like I should make this into a series called Marriage Moments for Your Monday Night.
Except today’s Tuesday, so still.
Should I?
Should I not?
Marriage motivation from your movie night.
Let me know in the comments.
What movie should I watch next?
What would you recommend?
I’ll start a list.
Here’s just me saying Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Or the way they say it over here – Feliz Navidad.
