Don’t be a generalist.
Wait—what?
What does that mean?
Don’t be a generalist when you say thank you.
Don’t say, “Thank you for everything that you do.”
This is 2026.
We can be specific.
“You’re such a great mom.”
How?
Tell me how I am a great mom.
“I watched you change that baby’s clothes five times in two and a half hours because they kept getting sick and vomiting all over them.”
“That’s amazing.”
“And you had no fuss about it.”
“You had no opinion about it.”
“You weren’t upset.”
Or “You weren’t upset with the baby.”
“Even though you haven’t slept at all.”
Don’t tell me you really appreciate everything that I do.
Spell it out.
What is it?
What is it that I’m doing?
And what is it that your wife is doing?
What is it that your husband is doing?
Tell them.
We can do better.
Seriously—it lands so differently.
This is like the cover, right?
It’s the cover compliment.
It’s supposed to be safe.
And it’s supposed to be right.
But it really doesn’t say much.
It’s lazy.
Let’s stop being lazy about what we say to our spouses, shall we?
Here’s something else not to do in your marriage in 2026.
Don’t talk only when something is wrong.
If every single conversation in your marriage is a repair conversation—meaning something went awfully awry and you’re addressing it to clean up a mess—your spouse will inevitably start bracing the moment you say, “Hey, we need to talk about this,” or, “Hey, can we talk about something?”
Let me tell you something.
That is not intimacy.
It’s emotional whiplash.
Healthy and emotionally mature couples talk when life is boring.
When it’s just fine.
Like literally—nothing’s wrong.
When it’s good.
When it’s just the normal routine.
They don’t just talk or engage each other in conversation when there’s something to be fixed.
When they’re broken.
Or when they’ve messed up.
So if the only feedback your spouse gets from you is correction, you’ve got to stop being surprised.
They stop wanting to engage.
And maybe they already have.
Call it out.
Ask them about it.
You’ll be glad that you did.
Here’s something else not to do in 2026 in your marriage.
Don’t wait until life slows down, because it never does.
It just changes in busyness.
It changes in levels of exhaustion.
So whatever you do, don’t wait for your life to slow down to do something about the state of your marriage.
If it needs attention, give it attention now.
Don’t wait another day.
Don’t put it off for another week.
You and I both know you’ve been waiting for a better time for long enough.
You’ve been putting it off for long enough.
Are you married?
This is going to be a doozy.
I recently came across a definition of the word compassion.
It said compassion is the constant act of giving oneself to others.
And I was like, “Really?”
That’s what compassion is?
Have I been misunderstanding compassion this entire time?
When we talk about compassion outside of marriage—inside of a relationship, inside of a marriage—I wouldn’t say that’s what compassion is.
So, of course, what does one do?
I go to Google.
I verify.
And I find that, yes, in fact, compassion is a deep awareness of another person’s suffering.
Right?
And on top of that, it’s not just taking pity for somebody’s misfortune.
Or somebody’s bad luck.
Or some, “You know, this happened to you—I’m so sorry.”
So it’s not just awareness.
It’s coupled with a desire to help.
And a motivation to move that person along.
Right?
To help them.
Whether that’s offering comfort.
Or whether that’s making it all go away.
In some way, shape, or form—alleviating that suffering on that person’s behalf.
Where it doesn’t stop at, “Oh, I just feel so bad for you.”
I can feel that.
But compassion takes it one step further.
And it says, “What do I want to do about that?”
“What can I do?”
“How can I do something about this so that my wife—so that my husband—isn’t suffering like this longer than is necessary?”
So tell me this.
Does that resonate?
Do you agree with the initial definition?
Or would you say it’s the latter within the confines of your marriage?
Does it belong there?
Is that part of the contract?
Are we asked to be compassionate with our spouse?
