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How to Find a Therapist

    And more importantly, how do I find a therapist who is right for me/for us? That’s the underlying question. And we’ll get to that in a second.   Finding a therapist is like buying a plant   You are looking at this image, wondering what a potted plant has to do with finding […]

Warning About Marriage Counseling – Why Sometimes It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

    In some ways, I think of this as another public announcement of sorts. Issuing a warning about marriage counseling. You have heard it said. The infamous ‘Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better’. The same thing applies to counseling.   Your Warning about Marriage Counseling – the DIGGING IT OUT Part   Couples […]

Calling BS on “I CAN’T”

    We are such a comfortable bunch. I don’t just mean you and me, just all humanity, really. But – Feel yourself included. We like to sit in our dark or shiny little corners, do our things and not really be bothered too much. Heaven forbid that we’d put some effort forth. If someone […]

What am I afraid of? OR Remembering Love

    She got really quiet before she said it out loud. Not that it’s an uncommon occurrence on the phone, but her voice on that day just got particularly silent. Remembering Love – How It Often Goes   Sometimes the initial phone consultation goes that way. “What if we don’t make it? What if the […]

Doing Things for Your Spouse – When was the last time that you…?

      You must think I am joking. I am not.   Doing Things for Your Spouse – Not Joking At All   If you thought that “shining their shoes” was code for something else, it’s not. Yes, shining shoes was a thing of the past AND it still is a thing in this […]

Compromise in Marriage (Without Shooting Yourself in the Foot)

    How to Compromise in Marriage: The Quest for Perfection   You know what I am talking about. So many couples reach out, looking for help with their communication. Compromising is right up there, a close second. They’ll say they need help making decisions. What they really mean is – They want to learn […]

Why I Love What I Get to Do

  Why I Love What I Get to Do Every Day – THE PHONE CALL   I was on the phone with my mom. She had just casually asked me how work was going, only to offer: “It must be really rewarding to know that because a couple came to see you, they are not going […]

5 Surefire Ways to Get Kicked Out of Marriage Counseling

    You didn’t know this was a thing, did you? That you could get ‘fired’ from marriage counseling – Clients fire therapists, not the other way around, right? Well, it happens. Oh, and guess what- I don’t even have to do the work. “How come?” you ask. Because your spouse sort of volunteers to do it […]

On Grief in Marriage – The Untold Truth About Grief Wreaking Havoc in Your Relationship

    On Grief in Marriage: FIRST, MY STORY   I remember that day like it was yesterday. The year was 1998. My grandfather had just passed away and all of us kids came out for the funeral. My dad and my godmother were with him when he took his last breath and they had […]

Is There a Hidden Camera in My Office?

    I don’t know what to make of this – It’s like my clients are talking amongst themselves. Is there a memo going around that I never got my hands on? Or worse yet, did someone have a hidden camera installed in my office that I am not aware of?   How Is this Happening? […]

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