You will hear things you may not want to hear.
Sometimes from your spouse, other times from me.
And sometimes it might be pretty direct. Yes, as in calling you out on your stuff.
Most couples who end up working with me appreciate the matter of fact, no-nonsense approach.
We’ll call things what they are.
Sides will be taken if need be – sometimes it will be for the benefit of your spouse, other times for yours.
Think about it: When it comes to couples’ work, you are not coming to see me because you want me to agree with you.
None of my couples do.
If you want for someone to take your side, you ask your best friend.
Or your mom.
Not me.
You are here precisely because you are looking for an honest outside perspective on what is going on in your marriage.
You want to know what your ‘dance’ is and figure out how to stop it because heaven knows it’s not been pretty.
The therapist sitting off to the side, observing, listening and nodding all session long. How is that supposed to be helpful?
Maybe you have even experienced that first hand in another therapist’s office.
And know exactly how impossible it is to be encouraged to “figure it out”.
If you had it in you to figure it out on your own, you would have never done a google search that brought you to my website or my office.
Beware — we will all be actively involved in everything we do.
IN session, of course.
And BETWEEN sessions, too.
You won’t be off the hook.
And you will be asked to do things that are not exactly easy or comfortable.
But then again, easy and comfortable never got anybody anywhere.
That’s how change happens.
Is to get you to a place where you can learn what you need to learn, get what you need to get, to be able to do this on your own.
I am in the business of putting myself out of business.
There is a lot of pride that comes from that.
And if you see that I am not doing that, I am not doing my job well — and I’d want you to fire me.
The point is, you don’t want to need me forever.
If you are like most couples who contract with me, you want to do the work you need to do and then be set.
And when that day comes, you will have the skills and the strategies to carry you through for years to come.
You will put new systems in place so that you two can succeed in your relationship.
Long-term.
That’s my goal for you.
You know you’ve been miserable for too long. Would you like to figure out how to get you back on track?
