Date ideas are not as easy to come by as I thought.
I used to think that couples had no issues coming up with things to do together. That was until a few years back when I realized that, time and time and time again (yes, I did mean to write that three times), couples would hit this wall and not be able to think of anything to do together.
When I saw this pattern repeatedly, I would continue to have all sorts of conversations with couples about things they can do together on a regular basis to make sure that they don’t grow into strangers.
If you think this only happens to the newlyweds, think again.
If you think this only happens to people who seemingly have no creative juices flowing through their bodies, think again. (I found that so often they’ve used them up at work, leaving them with no ability to come up with some solid date ideas at the end of their day on their own.)
And if you think that this only happens to couples who have been together forEVER, think again.
We all have these date ideas that are sort of our go-to when the question arises – “It’s date night tonight. What should we do?”
Now, there is nothing wrong with any of the activities above in and of themselves, except that if that’s what you do every time you think of having a date night with your spouse, it’s not really spending time together in a way that I’d like to see you spending time together.
My point number 1
As for item No.1, you are welcome to watch movies together so long as it’s not the only thing you do, every time you are trying to connect.
Because when you stare at a screen (even if you may be staring at it together), you are not actually engaging with each other.
Other than, perhaps, bumping into each others’ hand in the pop-corn bowl or feeling your spouse’s arm around your shoulder.
My point Number Two
Same goes for 2 and 5.
Feel free to work together, each on your own computers or on the same computer but do me a favor – don’t call it a date night.
I know sometimes life happens, things happen at work, and the ideal schedule goes out the window and you have to get some things done.
That’s fine. And sure, is it nicer than both of you sitting in your respective offices when it’s 9:30 at night? By all means. But don’t fool yourselves into thinking that by doing so, you will keep growing closer together.
My point number three
The one with family (No.3) is tricky.
You want to have time with your extended family members, you want your parents to know their grandchildren, but again, that cannot be the sum of all you do together.
Family time can be great.
And is necessary. I’m all for it.
Plus, I would generally never advise against it but you have got to find times to just do something – the two of you.
Date night is meant to allow you two to connect on a level that you can’t over text message or email.
When you two can be present to each other in a way that’s impossible when you have to run around, bringing food to the table, making sure everyone else is comfortable and having a good time, or heaven forbid, you still need to finish the dessert because you ran out of time.
My point number four
The last one, doing a double date, sort of falls into the same bucket as the one with having family over for dinner.
Unless these are really close friends and you can have deep conversations around the table without holding back, double dates are good for a light evening out.
They are great for meeting new friends.
But again – contrary to their name – they do not qualify for a date night.
Because you still have to look out for two extra people, and make sure they are having a good time.
You have to talk about things that will include them somehow (unless you don’t mind being rude), not allowing for the topics you and your spouse would want to dig into at all.
And one last time – keeping up with your circle of friends or creating a new social circle is fabulous. But you will (most of the time) not be able to have it work in your favor as a couple on a date night.
Now that you know what, essentially, not to do, tomorrow I will bring you 5 simple and yet meaningful Date night ideas for you to try.