Every so often, someone will say this thing which leaves me in utter shock.
Worse even, they say it with an ever-so-slight hint of an apology.
Apology!
Let me explain.
My first question, when clients schedule their call is always is some form of the following:
Why don’t we start with you telling me what you are looking for help with.
“I guess we are looking for help for our marriage.
Nothing really bad happened, like there is no infidelity, or anything.
But we’re fighting.
Like, all the time.”
One person literally said – “Don’t worry – we had no catastrophe happen…”
And I am like – WHAAAAT???
[I don’t actually say that – but that’s what happens in my head.
I can’t help it.]
Let’s get something straight.
You don’t NEED to have a catastrophe happen to get some help.
Fighting, all the time, IS bad enough.
And when I say bad enough – I mean – reason enough to raise your hand and say:
Can you help us please?
Don’t wait until something major happens.
For the love of the universe – Please don’t wait until the catastrophe.
Don’t wait until it’s already come and made herself comfortable smack in the middle of your living room.
It’s SO much EASIER to put out the fire if it’s just contained to one single pot on your stove.
You know, as opposed to fire everywhere.
The entirety of your house in flames.
On some level, I think you know this.
But you seem to forget or something.
So, for crying out loud – stop apologizing.
Well, and waiting, for that matter.
Just come.
With all the little things.
There is (almost) always more underneath the surface anyway.
And we’ll get to that.
But we can get the fire under control so much faster when it hasn’t spread all the way to the neighbor’s yard.
Trust me.
Now, if this resonates and you are thinking to yourself – “We’ve been doing this too.
Not even realizing that it’s to our detriment as a couple.”
If you are sitting there, together in the pile of muck – no matter how big it happens to be – raising your hands –
Here’s the link. Let’s talk.
