How long does it take?
How long does it take for my marriage to get to that place that you talk about – the place where you create the relationship with your spouse that you no longer want to leave – not now, not later – not ever?
I get asked that question more than a couple times a week.
I work with my couples for 6 months.
We make an agreement right off the bat.
Oftentimes, they re-up for another six.
It’s because we both know (meaning, the two of them and I) that whatever they’re coming in with – it’s not possible to deal with and resolve all of that in, say, two or three sessions.
And we talk about this ahead of time.
We talk about it during.
For many of my couples, it’s been years (or decades even) of them “perfecting their dysfunction.”
Meaning- doing the things in the way that they have – for 5 years, 12 years, or 35.
And getting REALLY good at doing that – even though it’s the thing that’s not working.
So I tell them the truth.
It’s going to take some time.
Some time, some repetition, some practice.
Time to unwind what you have learned previously (albeit not consciously), figure out how to stop doing those things, and then learn something else to do instead.
Practice those things.
Until you get good and IT becomes second nature instead.
If you want a quick fix – there is NO such thing.
I haven’t yet met the person that says they do this work in two sessions.
Or three.
Must be because there is no such person.
No such program.
No such setup.
So that leaves us with one question to ask.
Are you up for the challenge?
It will be work – you can’t say I didn’t warn you BUT — Then again, you already knew that.
If you are reading this and your answer is: HECK YEAH! — Schedule an Initial Phone Consultation with me HERE – that’s where we start.
PS: Oh, and send this blog (or the link) to your spouse – I like to speak with each one of you individually first.
