If I were to write a book titled the 10 Cardinal Sins of Marriage, chapter 1 would be titled: STOP. Calling. Each. Other. Names !!!!! For the love of the universe. Seriously, though. Stop the name calling. Some are the REALLY obvious ones. Those that rarely anyone would ever fight me on. […]
You tell me – You think that you need to do something Big. Something extravagant that will get you out of this hole that you are in with your spouse. That you need to find one big fix. One big thing. This is true for most of you – You don’t believe me […]
Why I don’t do Square gift cards in my business? Certainly not for lack of inquiries. I have had so many couples over the years, older couples with older kids, ask me about this. Lately, it’s even been the other way around. Younger couples asking on their parents’ behalf. (How cool is that, […]
Challah, Chili and Your marriage. Let me venture to say – I bet you never tried. Tried what? – you say to yourself. Make Challah Bread and Chili. The same night of the week? Maybe. In the same bowl? Likely not. We all know that wouldn’t work. The bread would get beyond mushy […]
Language Matters. [And I’m not just saying that just because I was a linguist in my previous life = always a linguist at heart. We are talking about a sneaky little shift, afterall.] HOW you say things to one another in your marriage matters. “That’s obvious, Danka, what’s new?” Hang tight. This one though […]
November’s Best Marriage Advice – No. 1 You know why your spouse cringes every time the words “constructive criticism” comes out of your mouth? Because. Those two words don’t belong in your marriage. Keep them where they belong: A job interview A performance review. Your employee handbook even. Or whatever else. Most […]
Generosity breeds generosity You know what’s really hard to do? To offer someone the coat off your back when you’re standing there in your undergarments. Your spouse or anyone else, really. When you’re cold – freezing even, handing that warm piece of clothing is impossible. Or close to it. And you don’t […]
Today is the second of November. As we enter this ever-so-overly-scheduled season of the year, here’s my question for you: Do you dare make a change this year? What do you mean, Danka? This: What are you two going to say “NO” to? On purpose. Thoughtfully. And holding each other to it. You do […]
Before you can have a great conversation with your spouse, you need to know what KIND of a conversation it is. That’s the start. Is it logistics? Are we making plans for a vacation? Are we talking about our kids’ behavior and our parenting roles in that (or lack of alignment with it)? […]
My husband Jon and I – we didn’t explicitly have an agreement about this. Or a huge discussion on the topic that I can remember. One that led to us signing a document of some sort at the end of that meeting. But – Without needing to say it out loud, it was […]
