How to RECOVER in your marriage from a relational micro-mishap at RAPID SPEED Some of you call them hiccups. Yes, those. Say these words out loud: “Hey, I don’t want to hold this over my head (or yours) all day long, can I just run it by you real quick? Assuming that your […]
This is a letter from me to you, with love. There’s no denying it. The numbers don’t lie. Picture this: It’s Friday night & you are at a dinner party. Six couples total present. Hear this. Every other couple in the room will end up in divorce. Every other couple around the table […]
Having done this for so long – in my mind, everybody knows. But then I run into someone, this week it was this older couple who had absolutely no idea. And of course, I’m the one who gets to point this out to them. Because staying in the not knowing – in the […]
If I were to write a book titled the 10 Cardinal Sins of Marriage, chapter 1 would be titled: STOP. Calling. Each. Other. Names !!!!! For the love of the universe. Seriously, though. Stop the name calling. Some are the REALLY obvious ones. Those that rarely anyone would ever fight me on. […]
Challah, Chili and Your marriage. Let me venture to say – I bet you never tried. Tried what? – you say to yourself. Make Challah Bread and Chili. The same night of the week? Maybe. In the same bowl? Likely not. We all know that wouldn’t work. The bread would get beyond mushy […]
Language Matters. [And I’m not just saying that just because I was a linguist in my previous life = always a linguist at heart. We are talking about a sneaky little shift, afterall.] HOW you say things to one another in your marriage matters. “That’s obvious, Danka, what’s new?” Hang tight. This one though […]
November’s Best Marriage Advice – No. 1 You know why your spouse cringes every time the words “constructive criticism” comes out of your mouth? Because. Those two words don’t belong in your marriage. Keep them where they belong: A job interview A performance review. Your employee handbook even. Or whatever else. Most […]
Generosity breeds generosity You know what’s really hard to do? To offer someone the coat off your back when you’re standing there in your undergarments. Your spouse or anyone else, really. When you’re cold – freezing even, handing that warm piece of clothing is impossible. Or close to it. And you don’t […]
Today is the second of November. As we enter this ever-so-overly-scheduled season of the year, here’s my question for you: Do you dare make a change this year? What do you mean, Danka? This: What are you two going to say “NO” to? On purpose. Thoughtfully. And holding each other to it. You do […]
Before you can have a great conversation with your spouse, you need to know what KIND of a conversation it is. That’s the start. Is it logistics? Are we making plans for a vacation? Are we talking about our kids’ behavior and our parenting roles in that (or lack of alignment with it)? […]
