If I were to write a book titled the 10 Cardinal Sins of Marriage, chapter 1 would be titled: STOP. Calling. Each. Other. Names !!!!! For the love of the universe. Seriously, though. Stop the name calling. Some are the REALLY obvious ones. Those that rarely anyone would ever fight me on. […]
Challah, Chili and Your marriage. Let me venture to say – I bet you never tried. Tried what? – you say to yourself. Make Challah Bread and Chili. The same night of the week? Maybe. In the same bowl? Likely not. We all know that wouldn’t work. The bread would get beyond mushy […]
Language Matters. [And I’m not just saying that just because I was a linguist in my previous life = always a linguist at heart. We are talking about a sneaky little shift, afterall.] HOW you say things to one another in your marriage matters. “That’s obvious, Danka, what’s new?” Hang tight. This one though […]
November’s Best Marriage Advice – No. 1 You know why your spouse cringes every time the words “constructive criticism” comes out of your mouth? Because. Those two words don’t belong in your marriage. Keep them where they belong: A job interview A performance review. Your employee handbook even. Or whatever else. Most […]
Generosity breeds generosity You know what’s really hard to do? To offer someone the coat off your back when you’re standing there in your undergarments. Your spouse or anyone else, really. When you’re cold – freezing even, handing that warm piece of clothing is impossible. Or close to it. And you don’t […]
Today is the second of November. As we enter this ever-so-overly-scheduled season of the year, here’s my question for you: Do you dare make a change this year? What do you mean, Danka? This: What are you two going to say “NO” to? On purpose. Thoughtfully. And holding each other to it. You do […]
Before you can have a great conversation with your spouse, you need to know what KIND of a conversation it is. That’s the start. Is it logistics? Are we making plans for a vacation? Are we talking about our kids’ behavior and our parenting roles in that (or lack of alignment with it)? […]
Did you know? It matters who you hang out with. And not just in a professional sense, though also true – How does the saying go? “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” You know that one. It matters on a personal level also. For you […]
Did you know? There is one thing you need to be willing to own and say before you can make any progress on your marriage. With your spouse, right now. Before anything can change. The million dollar question, of course – You know what it is?? There one time a while back […]
They said a professor shared this with them in college and it stuck. I know how that works because I have some of those in my own repertoire. Things I remember people saying to me decades ago. I love these little truth bombs. So. Much. Particularly when they come from the couples I work with. […]
